Friday the 13th, a beautiful day for a moan! Is it just myth or is there really something synonymous with the 13th day of a month falling on a Friday? Now, that was rhetorical folks, I dont want exposes on urban legends and myths here!! Cheers! :P

What happened in apartment 4D early this morning was, for lack of a better word, bizarre though. :shock:

I’d woken up really early and plunked myself down in front of the computer to do some trip research. Jen, Dave, Josie and I are all going to Morocco next month. We've found it impossible to contain our excitement since we decided to go, on Wednesday.

So one minute I’m fantasising about Kaftans, bazaars and adventures in the desert (thinking whatever happens in Morocco, stays in Morocco... *wink wink*), and the next, I find myself brooding in the shower. It was a short burst of brooding and cussing, followed by waves of anxiety that had me climbing the walls of my suddenly asphyxiatingly, small apartment.

I’d let myself think about work. And all the unresolved stuff abt my somewhat protracted move to the states. Big mistake! :roll:

Hoping for relief, I took myself down to the park on the river at abt 6.30am and stayed until it was too close to being late for work to sit there any longer. I’ve never so badly in my life wanted to stop a complete stranger and say “Tell me that moving to Newcastle wasn’t one really big, awful mistake.” :(

I retreated back to my apartment, crawled on the settee (couch) to mope a bit. I willed myself to get ready and go to work. I had plans. But I couldn’t make myself get up, put on clothes. Instead, I ate a bowl of cereal while watching BBC morning TV. I called  Kirsty. Someone had to bring me back to rational existence. Someone who understood and wouldn’t tell me to suck it up.

She didn’t tell me I hadn’t made one really big awful mistake moving to Newcastle. But she did remind me why I came in the first place. That call, and a coffee or two later and I’m much closer to feeling like myself again. Many heartfelt sorries to my dearest Jenny, whose play I missed y/day evening. I hear you were wonderful btw. :D

So I'm back at work (even though I was late!), and looking forward to the weekend with relish! Hope y'all have a good weekend peeps. Also, like to thx a certain somebody who made my day by cheering me up this morning too. You know who you are, you're a Star!! Cheers!! :wink:

Read this and I just couldn't stop laughing. I could have saved them the time and trouble.

Nine out of Ten Would be Adequate

Researchers at Alabama's Auburn University say they have determined what men want in the "ideal woman" :

• She is sexually inexperienced but likes sex


• Has a career but is a full-time homemaker


• Has a slim build


• Is athletic


• Has pretty eyes


• Dark hair


• Good complexion 


• A firm butt


• Large breasts are nice, but not all that important.

The study's lead author, Erica Gannon, says the specifications are similar to what is found in the Bible. "Our participants, whether knowingly or unknowingly, espouse a view of the ideal woman that is very similar to the views held by individuals thousands of years ago." However, she adds, "It's hard to be this woman." 

:shock: No kidding?! I could have told her that myself, but more to the point...it's about as hard as being the ideal man:

• Strong yet gentle,


• Powerful yet sensitive,


• Has a great career yet helps clean the house and raise the children,


• In control yet cries,


• And a sex expert who's only been with one woman.

No wonder there are so many single people out there... chasing non-existing ideals! hehehe! :lol: How much did that research cost?! I'd have told them what's what for free :roll:

Anything to add peeps? What's the "Ideal" in your ideal man or woman? Holla at me :wink:

When I die…

(from the Tombstone Generator)

Or, of course, there's the ever popular…

Bored here at work, so I quickly scanned the dictionary as I do for another word to tickle me... came up with this:

All those in this category need to wake the hell up! Kerry's apparently, 8 points ahead of Dubya as of this last weekend... I see the end, still nothing to convince me that Bush is the man to carry on for the next four years! But hey that's just IMHO!  Same applies here. Methinks Blair has gotta go too! :)

I'm heading into a meeting in a few minutes, so if I dont get back here.. have a good evening peeps... it's been a pleasure as usual! :wink:

Thx gawd it's the weekend, this last week has been 'taxing' to say the least. Funnily enough it's not just me... I've noticed on most if not all my regular reading blogs of choice here on tblog, that "DRAMA" seems to have been the buzz word for the last week! Well, peeps that week is well and truly gone now... let's enjoy the weekend and look forward to a better, fun-filled, and satisfying week ahead!! One can only hope, right?! :) To relax, I was out with a couple of friends having dinner and a few drinks last night, when I overheard the most bizzare of conversations. Nothing racy, just that I'm pulling a complete blank on what to blog abt.. so this will have to do. :P

Overheard at the bar/restaurant I went to last night:

Diner #1: You have a gigantic hickey on your neck.
Diner #2: It’s not a hickey… It’s a bite mark.
Diner #1: Is there a difference?

Is there a difference? :shock: That's like asking "Is the Pope CATHOLIC?" Shame for even asking! Yes, there’s a fucking difference. And I’ll explain and enlighten since, you know, I’ve got nothing real to write about today.

Hickeys suck:

There are several ways to get a hickey. Anything that sucks will do the trick. A vacuum hose, even a coffee mug that you’ve sucked to your chin will leave such a mark. Though, clearly the preferred method is suction from another person’s mouth. A visible hickey is, like acne, an adolescent marker. To quote an experienced friend, it is “a concerted effort to brand one another” and is for teenagers fumbling around in back seats of their parent's cars. Hickeys are soggy and require something of a time investment -- quite a bit of sucking goes into a decently sized neck marker.

Bite me!

Precursor to a kiss, a little nip in the heat of passion may leave the same tell-tale bruising as the aforementioned hickey, but bite marks are a different beast entirely. Biting is not kids’ stuff. It’s sweaty, heady, a little pain-with-your-pleasure, I-want-to-devour-you stuff. It’s quick and surprising and very worth the investment of a good, all-purpose silk scarf or a roller-neck if concealment becomes necessary. Besides, the same scarf may come in handy for other things. Like wrists. etc :wink:

That was a sex expose from the vast personal experience of yours truly... make of it what you will! And with that, I’m going to go take a nice, long walk in this beautiful (even if much too hot) weather and think pure thoughts for a change. Have a good weekend one and all! Mwuah! :P

Adrian is going to Ibiza. (Clubbing capital of Europe)
Brad is going to Australia. (Gold Coast to be specific!). Lucky bastard! :P
C is going to Lille and Paris.

And Me? Well, I’m just going crazy. Stir fucking crazy!!. :evil: :shock:

My ‘maybe in the winter’ plans with Dave, Kirsty and Jen to go to Italy are not making it any easier to deal with the fact that I haven’t had a real decent holiday in a very, very long time. Maybe in the Winter? Winter is ages away and I’m already about three stops away from Crazytown on the express train! :roll:..... Helppppp!! :(

I become eligible for parole holiday (that is anything over 3weeks at a time) sometime this Autumn. At which point, my recent windfall (currently slotted in a savings account) will be plunked down, my suitcase filled up and I’ll be off like a pair of flip flops or sandals on a white sandy beach.

That being decided, I’m not likely to get a lot of work done anymore today. I've done more than my quota already. It's been one of those days. At the moment daydreaming tends to be taking up most of my brain power.

Hope y'all are having much better day's? If I dont get the chance to come back today.. here's wishing you all a very good and fun-filled weekend. I'm gonna be doing some serious retail this weekend and for no other reason than.. becos I can (CP got paid today!) :wink:

Much love peeps!! Later :lol:

Today has been a tad overwhelming!! :roll:

In fact, I need to take a break! While I'm used to having a whole lotta balls in the air at one time (I am quite the multi-tasker), everyone's had a ball to throw my way.

If the following scene makes any sense, I offer it as an example. It is in no way exaggerated. Three people in my office and one on the phone.

Brad: I saved those drawings to the file.
Me: Which file? Cheshire?
Brad: CINERGY.
Me: Okay, okay. Listen, CINERGY is due Friday NEXT week. Cheshire is due MONDAY. Can you work with me here?
Brad: I haven't started on them...
Me: I'm going to banish you again!

In walks my Boss

Boss: Matt, I know you're busy but {your Dept} was working on a few things...
Me: (already handing him the files) These two are for your review. I finished them up last night. They go Fed-Ex to Austin. You have two hours. The third can go out tomorrow night, right? It's not done.
Boss: Now, I know things will be tough without {Larry and Deb} around, but your progress here will be determined, in part, by how much you can produce. Oh, and I need this duplicated. One copy to {large bio-tech firm}...

Phone rings

Me: This is Matthew...
Higher Up: Hi, yeah, um {Boss} was handling the Business Week article. What are we doing about that?
Me: don't. cry. Um, Okay. Richard, I have a 4:00pm free. If it doesn't bother you to have to debrief me on the strategy, I'll fit it in somehow. Your office at 4pm?
Higher Up: Fine.

In walks Graphics Dept Head

GDH: (exchanging plesantries with the others crowding my office) Those boards ready for the MGH prerview on Thursday?

Three minutes later, I was in the mens', hiding in a bathroom stall. Argh!! :evil:

I got nothing done yesterday and my desk is piled with half-completed tasks. They're waiting for me right now. I dreamt about work all night. My body aches and my eyes are burning from working at my home fucking computer until way past midnight last night trying to write some bullshit article about the biggest construction project in the world, and screaming inside my head, "Who the FUCK cares?" :roll:

Who the fuck cares? I do. And therein lies the problem. I need a break!! :(

Some light-hearted comedy for y'all this wonderful Friday morning. Read this initially in Sheryl's blog http://almsthvn.tblog.com" title="http://almsthvn.tblog.com" target="_blank"http://almsthvn.tblog.com and early y/day saw this in the papers so decided to check it out in detail and this is what I came up with... it's just totally hilarious!! :lol: :P

If I were ever going to have an affair -- you know, hypothetically speaking -- I’d start by picking a remote location. Say, a dusty tent somewhere in Mexico, or a chintzy, art deco motel in some Florida tourist trap. Or maybe an old inn in Northampton town, or a glitzy razzmatazz hotel in Mauritius. The kind with views of the water.

I’d probably put just as much thought into choosing my lover. I’d be quite selective, I think. Perhaps I’d pick someone with a sense of adventure. The sort I’d pick up by the belt loops of her jeans and toss her onto a king-size bed just before binding her wrists with my leather belt (not too tightly, of course). Or, maybe I’d go for the sentimental sort who’d feed me caramel pecan cheesecake in bed the next morning. Then maybe months later, I’d write about it and imagine eating the caramel pecan cheesecake off of that lover.

If I were going into details, I’d think it would be wise to keep the room temperature elevated. You know, if I chose to conduct my affair in the winter. All that heat, and the sweat… if it got too cold in the room, I just might need to keep active for much of the night in order to compensate. And there’d be no sense in wearing a lover out too quickly.

I’d probably take loads of white candles -- the kind that smell like warm vanilla. I’d take massage oil. Even if I didn’t end up using it. After all, talking about using it could be fairly hot on its own, I bet. And I’d hope she'd take lingerie that she wouldn’t wear for more than a few minutes. 

I’d laugh while my lover pranced naked in front of the open curtains. I’d eat too much for dessert -- most of mine, some of hers. Maybe frozen pears in ice cream. I’d lounge about, drinking cocktails and listening to big band music. And I’d try to sleep even though I’d be wide awake feeling her breath on the back of my neck and pretending it doesn’t make me want to wake her up and continue doing scandalous things.

And after it was all said and done, I imagine the smallest little thing would probably remind me of that affair. Something hanging in my closet. The taste of pears. The smell of sweat and the faint taste of cigarettes on someone’s breath.

And I’d probably never really lose the temptation, every time I’m on a Newcastle or London-bound train, to get off at the quaint little depot in Northampton town.

You know, hypothetically speaking.... that is! :wink:

Bender
n  1: an occasion for heavy drinking.

I was already ready for bed when they called.

Sure, it was only 9:30 or so, but the kind of day I had, plus the whole,.... it feels like I swallowed fire for a carnival sideshow sore throat thing I've got going on, I was ready to just relax and chill out for the night.

[b]Wanna go out tonight?[/b]

I wasn't inclined, and was hoping to watch a movie at home instead. But it was not to be. We (me and the boys yet again with Kirsty and Jenny) ended up on a bender at a snooker hall on a Tuesday night.

Now I'm at work, back in my suit, suffering from a sore throat and a mild hangover trying to decide which of the ridiculous and amazing stories to tell. It was that kinda night.

But that will have to be later. Right now, my brain feels just a mite too big for my skull. It's gonna be that kinda day.:(

***One conversation of note:***

Me: Jenny, you should consider becoming a lesbian.
J: Oh, I have! I'm signing the papers next week.
Me: Excellent. Let's just hope you have better taste in women than you do in men.

..Ouch!! horrible I know.. but my excuse was the drink! :P What is with me and all these moments of telling it as I see it lately? Anybody got a remedy for "tactlessness"? :?